Throughout all of High School I desired to date someone, I wanted to have a girl around my arm, something (That sickens me to think I thought something not someone) to add to my status, I had the desire, the desire is boyish. To wanted something when it is not my time to want, to entertain the desire. To feed the desire, that desire is what drove me into youth group, to church, it played a part in why I did sports, I controlled me from time to time. Honestly I did not have the desire to get in a girls pants (but not saying that I could not be tempted to do so, especially in this part of the story I am not a Christ Follower), I just desired to be in a relationship. Here is some more honesty that I tried to use Christ as a way to get a girlfriend, I was not living in Christ I was not pursuing Christ, I was using Faith to pursue a woman actually not a woman a (girl) (I say girl because a woman is someone who is reflecting Christ, and I was not pursuing that) I remember a quote from The Dark Knight Joker says "I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught one. I just DO things". That right there sums up who I was, I just did things, I had no idea what a Biblical relationship looked like, what it entailed, what it would cost. Most boys (close to all) have the desire to be in a relationship, but have no idea how to, or what the purpose of a relationship is. A Biblical relationship is not, to be happy, for self affection and gratifaction I think not, not even for the sake of finding your "soul mate". Relationships are twofold, first off for Marriage, and then to become more like Christ. If boys would pursue God the way they lust and chase after girls they would not be boys for long, but become Men.
When to ACT (1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.)
(Song of Solomon 8:4 not to awaken love until the time is right) Just like some may have the desire to squat 500lbs...ok it may just be my desire... but that does not mean I attempt to lift 500lbs on the spot, no I have to train, train, and buffet and prepare myself, and any good lifter knows that when He attempts to squat the 500lbs he has others around him to correct his form, spot him to make sure he does not fall, and above all a lifters has water on him to keep his body hydrated along with a protein shake. The break down this parable goes like this, The Lifter is a young man who wants to pursue a relationship with a woman, and the woman is the prize the 500lbs the 500lbs is a standard it is a woman who is hard to get and is worth the preparation. The spotters are the lifters accountability brothers they keep the lifter in check, they push him, they make sure the lifter does not fall in temptations, and are around to council, now the water and protein is the lifter's constantly intake of the Word of God that fuels his life (Matthew 4:4 'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD)I'm not ready for a relationship but one day I will be ready,Lord willing.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
When I was in Haiti last summer for a mission trip, I was with one of the kids (the one in the pic) just sitting on the beach and enjoying the water as it would rise up against us, I realized I'm not ready for a family, for a relationship. As I had a small child in my arms I came to terms with how much I need to grow to take on this challenge and to serve God. Naturally I would not stay true to this conviction, and I was in two swift dating relationships, one right after another, only proving the fact that I am not ready for this stage in life. I want to use this year as a year of equipping myself, it is a time of preparation, of concise preparation. In the aspect of preparation I am pursuing a relationship, one that does not exist yet, I am pursuing preparation so that I am able to lead a woman when the time comes, I want to be fully satisfied in Christ and be confident in that, Devotion to preparation will strengthen me and shape me into the right man, which is more important that finding the right woman because I have to be the right man in order to truly cherish the right woman. Some may respond to me and say, Taylor you can date, you should date how else will you know what you want in a woman, you need experience... That is so so Biblically wrong.
(Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.) Young men realize that just like a jewel that is considered precious and has out word beauty and shine, does not mean that it may not be the most valuable "jewel" out there. There is more in worth than shine and outward beauty, for if you are only looking at outward beauty/attraction you will overlook the the true treasure inside a treasure chest, that it takes looking every nook and cranny to search for a woman who is worth more than jewels. So dont just pick up every jewel out there that you see but search diligently for that one woman who is more precious than a mere stone. What are "Jewels" sensiual women sexualy putting themselves out there, a immature woman, a quarrelsome woman, a lustful woman, a drama queen. If your hands are full of other jewels you will not be able to catch her or find her the one who is worth More.Why would I waste my time with many Jewels when I'm out to find the most precious stone, I'm out to find the hidden treasure, in reality I am out to find someone who wants to be Holy... a woman who will drive me to Christ, who wants to go on this adventure of Following Christ, to the end. But first I need to make sure I'm fully equipped for this expedition.
It takes only a moment to make memories so be careful who you make memories with- Andy Mineo.
When talking about a woman of God, that is one of the most dangerous things a man can pursue, here is why. That woman is a Daughter of God, so tread carefully to hurt one of God's daughters will not rest well on that man. And when someone is dating for experience that is one of the most boyish things I have heard of, you are basically saying to that person I want to get to know you really well, I want to be romantic with you, to get our lives involved with each other, and then one day I will break your heart. Plus most people do not even think of asking a pastor for advice to purse a woman, or even ask the father of that woman if you can pursue courtship with his daughter, even if the father is a decent man you should ask him for permission, because his daughter is his joy, his treasure. Imagine you own your own car, it is a very valuable and precious possession to you. And one day you head out to your driveway and see that your car is gone! you start pacing back and forth and a few minutes go by and a young man whips around the corner and slams on the brakes pulling in your driveway. The young man steps out of the car and says I hope you did not mind that I took your car out for a spin, I hope you did not care about the condition of your car, I may have hit another car returning it, and without the slightest blink he throws you the keys and walks off.... That is what dating is is without the intent of marriage and without the permission of the parents. To answer the question from earlier "Taylor you can date, you should date how else will you know what you want in a woman, you need experience". Hmm easy, but often overlooked put yourself under the authority of Godly men and observe their marriage ask them questions and dig deep in the word of God take note of the numerous failures of men in the bible who were married (examples Abraham pimped out his wife not once but twice, had an affair with her, but from time to time Abraham did truly cherish Sara, David was a man after God's own heart, yet fell in to sin and committed adultery, you got Jacob who did not see the worth of his wife, Samson was a man whore, you have Gomer what not to seek but also what a great example of how when a man loves his wife it is not a response to her love for him) The Bible is full of examples of all failures and their poor discussions affected not just them but their legacy of the future generations. King David lost his son because of his adulterous marriage, Solomon was left empty after chasing after the pleasure of sensuality, Samson was left weak, blind because of the type of woman he chose. What are good examples of marriage in the Bible, would it be too obvious to just answer Jesus, look how Christ pursues His Church, look to the lengths He goes for her salvation. As a man who is preparing for a Marriage, I need to make sure I know what I am looking for so that I am not drawn to the wrong things in a person. This is why I am taking a step away from even entertaining a relationship, I would not even know where to start. Right now I am in school, leading a ministry, I have sports. I am just learning to balance all theses plates along with earnestly growing and refining myself to the likeness of Christ, to add another plate to the ones that I am already spinning would just cause me to be unbalance for a plate that I am not ready for. Because I see the value of that plate I will wait till the proper time.
(Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.)
Thank you for reading this and remember I am expressing thoughts that have come acrossed my mind. I am a man who needs renewal each day. May Grace and Peace be with you all your days. Pray for me that I can prepare to be a future Husband, Father, and that I finish this time of preparation with focus on Christ and not to be distracted from this goal.
Resources
http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-Paperback-Edition-Redesign/dp/1433530783
No comments:
Post a Comment